Episode Four: Dead Meat

I was actually really impressed with this episode. I didn't actually have any funny pictures to make or things to take the mickey out of.

Until this woman opened her mouth.

Aw, shit.



For a whole eight and a half minutes I genuinely thought they were following book two's story. I thought Elena had been taken to Ty's underground prison - and that that weird guy in the leather jacket was Ty. And heck, the story was looking up from there. Elena's brutal treatment was well-acted and therefore hard to watch.

Then that woman spoke.

Oy vey.

Looks like they are going in their own direction like they said after all.

WHAT THE FUCK

ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT

Also, way to turn the great character of Savannah into a whiney little snotrag.

So when are Nick and Shmaige going to boink? I could see it coming last episode (because they shared eye contact) but I'm wondering when it's going to happen and fulfil the dreams of the shippers out there.

All 6 of them

I for one was looking forward to writing 'In a rare moment of competence, MoonMoon -

- rescues his girlfriend,' But nope. Denied. Dammit, MoonMoon. Just rip that metal panelling off the tree and run away with it - it'll break the obvious chain and allow your lady to escape. I mean.

Or you could just get captured, again. I mean that's good too.

That brimstone cock-and-balls symbol electric fence is a good idea. I'll give the show that.

Also what's to stop Elena from breaking all the (unarmed) bad guys' necks in this scene?

Answer: Fuck all

I was actually going to say that this episode was better than the previous ones in this season. I truly was. Especially after that not-half bad heartfelt exchange between Elena and Shmavannah at the end. At least, until I saw this. I am not showing this.

Warning, NSFW http://i.imgur.com/weehQjm.png. Also, I just don't want this shit on my blog

And here I end on a question that for once doesn't have a hint of sarcasm to it -

WHAT IN THE EVERLIVING FUCK IS GOING ON HERE